Gentlemen, does your lover giggle at you? Are you so small you can't even feel yourself when jerking off? Are you jealous of the size of your girlfriend's clitoris? Does your penis rest on your balls like a shelf? Relax, turtle-dick, we've got the cure that'll make your weiner a whole lot meaner.

We here at Kungfoo.com try to avoid endorsing products - not only are the sponsorship deals too unlucrative, but the products are often just not in our style (who wants to see RickySilk's face plastered on their ladies diaphragm box?). However, every now and then, we make an exception. So when the great people behind the Maxaman approached us, we just couldn't resist. We felt that a stellar product like Maxaman deserved more recognition than it got (they said they did some kind of email campaign but you KNOW those never work), so we decided to help them out. But don't just take our word for it, here's what Maxaman had to say:

Sex is like fixing your '69 Corvette -- you better use the right tool for the job or it'll be a disastor! The genetic lottery determines your penis size the instant your conceived-- *POOF* that's all you're getting! But that's all about to change, thanks to modern science! Finally, a real formula has been designed to make IT bigger...FOREVER! No painful pumps or exercises are required! Just take a "Maxaman" pill with meals and watch it grow to amazing dimensions!

• No more sighs of dissatisfaction from your woman, only cries of delight!
  
• Stronger and longer orgasms for you and your partner!
  
• No painful pumps, exercises, or dangerous surgery!
  
• Results start in 2 weeks or less!
  
• No side effects, 100% safe to use!
  
• Gain at least 2 inches or your money back!
  

Size does matter. Be it too small or too large it still matters. The size of your penis is on a woman's mind. Women know what they like and are aware of the size and shape of the penises they've had.

Listen to what a few of our previous customers have to say:


"I tried grippers, creams, weights and ball bearing traction devices, but to no avail. Then I bought my own Maxaman (ok, 4 bottles) and while I don't suggest taking the pills past the recommended 2 week period like I *cough* needed to, I can tell you this really works! I've already recognized some of the benefits that come with having such a huge penis:

— Makes a great jump rope for children.
— I get paid $400 twice a year to hide behind a tree at the zoo and provide the "Albino Boa" at the snake exhibit -- no fun molting, though :p
— When asked at Subway whether I want the 6-inch or 12-inch, it's so much easier just to show them.
— No seat belt? No problem!
— The old adage about putting "your two heads together"? Let's just say I don't leave the house anymore.
— Instant speed-bump!
— Hefty trash-bags (2-ply) make outstanding condoms - and so cheap.
— No stage fright at the urinal ... ever.
— Nocturnal emissions now transformed into white-water rafting adventures!
— With the appropriate markings, makes a great ruler - even does Metric!

Thank you, Maxaman! And my director and all the girls of Shafted 3 - Electric Booty-lu thank you too!"

— AquaVelvet


"For years I tried all sorts of things - vacuum cleaners, rubber bands, even a visit from Rosie & her Five Sisters, but nothing seemed to work. I was pretty depressed about it, until my lady says that size doesn't matter to her, whatever that means. That's good enough for me for now.

So while I really don't need any sort of 'enlarging pills' or 'performance enhancers' or 'off market drugs' currently, it is nice to know that if I should ever have any size problems due to jealous girlfriends or any sort of industrial accident involving my wee wee, Maxaman will be there for me. Thanks for making a product I know probably won't kill me.

Lovingly yours,

— burn2shine